Wednesday, May 13, 2026

AI is ruining graduation speeches

Just in time for commencement season
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Today’s Agenda

AI Glazing at Graduation

If you’re a commencement speaker at a graduation ceremony, your primary goal is to say some nice words that will inspire the educated hatchlings in front of you to venture forth into the world and change it for the better. Your secondary goal is much simpler: Don’t get booed.

It sounds easy!! But many have failed. I know Harrison Butker’s name only because he gave an incredibly tone-deaf speech in 2024 and got condemned by an order of nuns for telling female degree holders to become homemakers. Now, I also know Gloria Caulfield’s name — but not for the same reason. Standing in front of a room full of arts and humanities majors whose job prospects are incredibly bleak, the real estate executive extolled the promise of AI, which she said will lead to “the next industrial revolution.” She was met with a cacophony of boos from the University of Central Florida’s Class of 2026.

Dave Lee says a similar “tense anti-AI sentiment” was also present during Marquette’s graduation ceremony on Saturday, where Adobe’s global head of AI and agentic systems, Chris Duffey, took the podium. When the university first announced he would be the speaker, alumni called it “embarrassing” and the student news site ran an editorial protesting the choice, saying graduates deserve “a commencement speech, not a Silicon Valley lecture.”

Graduates at Carnegie Mellon University in Pittsburgh felt differently. On the same weekend, they cheered as Nvidia CEO Jensen Huang addressed them. “This is your time,” he said. “AI is not just creating a new computing industry. It is creating a new industrial era.” Easy to say that when you’re at the helm of a company that is now worth more than every single healthcare stock in the S&P 500 combined:

The divergence in sentiment of new grads shows how difficult it is to strike the right tone in today’s landscape, says Dave. “Speakers wading into the subject of AI know they are no less a student of it than the people they are addressing. What they can offer is the age-old advice that could have been given at any commencement address at any time in the last century or more, which is: Work hard, have integrity and hope for the best.”

It’s also sound advice for the schools themselves. The Bloomberg Editorial Board says more than a quarter of nonprofit four-year colleges and universities in the US are at risk of closing or merging within the next decade because enrollment is in free fall amid sliding academic standards. “Simply put, graduates want jobs,” it says. “Unemployment among young adults with a bachelor’s degree remains high, and uncertainty prevails about the effect of artificial intelligence on entry-level work.”

The board’s advice for educators: “Liberal arts colleges will need to demonstrate that the skills they were founded to impart — critical thinking, civic literacy, empathy, curiosity — are compatible with the jobs of tomorrow.”

What will those jobs of tomorrow look like? And what happens if you can’t secure one? The fear of being jobless because of AI doesn’t just haunt the nightmares of heavily indebted graduates — we all feel it, even veterans of the workforce. To alleviate those worries, Kathryn Anne Edwards says, “America needs a long-term unemployment system that’s both effective and reassuring.” That means giving job-seeking people the resources they need — moving assistance, entrepreneurial support, vocational training — to pivot and adapt.

Who knows, maybe a former Amazon employee could end up having a very lucrative career in commencement speechwriting. We could really use some more competence in that arena.

Bonus AI Future Reading: “Chipflation” isn’t just a problem for our tech overlords who somehow need to earn a financial return on their investments. — Chris Bryant

Starmer Is Kicking and Screaming

Here’s a completely hypothetical question: If 90 of your colleagues thought you were terrible at your job and asked you to quit, would you do it? I am a people pleaser through and through, so I would probably leave immediately. This guy, however, is seemingly determined to stick around:

Photographer: Jose Sarmento Matos/Bloomberg

Dozens of MPs from Keir Starmer’s own party, as well as members of his cabinet and even the cat, have asked him to politely vacate the premises of 10 Downing Street. And yet! He’s choosing to ride out his prime ministership until the bitter end.

“Much will depend on how exactly Starmer exits, and the timetable that emerges for choosing a successor,” Rosa Prince writes. “If he keeps clinging on grimly, daring his ministers to force him out — as with Johnson four years ago — the starting gun could be fired almost immediately. That would favor Wes Streeting, the ambitious health secretary, and to a lesser extent the former Deputy Prime Minister Angela Rayner. A contest featuring only this flawed pair would be a disaster.” Read the whole thing.

The Rules Do Apply

Sports spoiler!! “The Los Angeles Lakers’ season ended last night in a sweep by the Oklahoma City Thunder,” writes Adam Minter. What’s LeBron James going to do next? Nobody seems to know. He could stay with the Lakers. Or go to Cleveland. Or hang up his Nikes for good and open up an Etsy shop with sketches of Bart Simpson.

Instead of trying to read indecipherable tea leaves about the 41-year-old NBA star, Adam is taking the moment to reflect on the Lakers’ investment in James. The return has been relatively modest, he says — “one championship in eight seasons and only two trips to the conference finals.”

What happened? “Historically, the Lakers didn’t have to worry about evolution. They could rely on glitz and celebrity to bridge a talent gap. When the on-court chemistry stopped working, they didn’t slowly rebuild. They shopped,” Adam writes. “But over the last several years, the NBA, in pursuit of league-wide parity, has eroded the advantages the Lakers could take for granted.”

Now, the league penalizes teams that frequently go over budget. “Want to sign a top-heavy roster of expensive superstars that rockets past the salary cap? You can do it, but it can cost you trade flexibility, your position in the draft, and other roster-building tools,” Adam explains. James’ hefty contract made it virtually impossible for the Lakers to pad the bench with talent.

Bonus Sports Reading: Hyrox, the fast-growing indoor fitness competition, should ditch its Olympic ambitions and focus on commercial efforts. — Juliana Liu

Telltale Charts

New inflation figures dropped today, and Jonathan Levin says things are getting hot. Consumer prices rose 3.8% in April from a year earlier, the most since May 2023. What does that mean for the labor market? “For now, it feels like we’re in a ‘low hire, low fire’ environment in which the unemployed are struggling to gain a foothold, and workers are clinging to their existing jobs,” he writes. Although those workers have little leverage compared to what they had during Covid, Jonathan says “it wouldn’t be shocking if workers beg a little harder for inflation catch-up raises this year — which, by all accounts, they probably need.”

President Donald Trump needs a win on critical minerals, and Brazil’s Luiz InĂ¡cio Lula da Silva is happy to hand it to him. Last week during a bilateral meeting at the White House, the pair established a rare-earth cooperation. “Given their deep ideological divide and long history of clashes, the novel rapport between Trump and Lula should be welcomed. If there is one country capable of helping the US reduce its dependence on Chinese strategic minerals, it’s Brazil, home to the world’s largest rare-earth reserves after the Asian nation,” Juan Pablo Spinetto says. “Still, a healthy dose of realism is warranted,” he warns. “Brazil won’t become a major rare-earths supplier overnight — or even within a few years.”

Further Reading

Pennsylvania has the wrong fix for “broken” power utilities. — Liam Denning

Flipping the Senate is a real possibility. It won’t be easy. — David M. Drucker

Why $70 should be the most worrying number for LNG. — David Fickling

Citadel is smart to expand to help Asian clients to trade US stocks. — Shuli Ren

FEMA can’t help states until it handles its own disaster. — Mark Gongloff

Virginia’s Supreme Court ruling bolstered democracy, if not Democrats. — Noah Feldman

ICYMI

Marty Makary’s chaotic time at the FDA is over.

Mamdani scrapped the NYC property tax hike.

Mexico captured a cartel boss and seven tigers.

Canadians are protesting through the census.

Refrigerators are winning India’s soda wars.

Kickers

Mayoral espionage in California.

AI vibecoders keep their laptops ajar.

A very British accident. (h/t Matthew Elvin)

High-end art that costs $0.

Notes: Please send watercolor collages and feedback to Jessica Karl at jkarl9@bloomberg.net.

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