Thursday, March 20, 2025

How to avoid crude language in 2025

The difference between the words "immigrant" and "migrant" is far more than two letters.
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Today's Agenda

Language Lesson 2025

With today's announcement of the dismantling of the US Education Department, now seems an appropriate moment to share one of my formative high-school experiences: learning what has become my favorite poem in the whole wide world. It is Language Lesson 1976by Heather McHugh.

When Americans say a man
takes liberties, they mean

he's gone too far. In Philadelphia today I saw
a kid on a leash look mom-ward

and announce his fondest wish: one
bicentennial burger, hold

the relish. Hold is forget,
in American.

On the courts of Philadelphia
the rich prepare

to serve, to fault. The language is a game as well,
in which love can mean nothing,

doubletalk mean lie. I'm saying
doubletalk with me. I'm saying

go so far the customs are untold.
Make nothing without words,

and let me be
the one you never hold.

I first read this in English class — shoutout to Mr. McAteer! [1] — and let me tell you: Teenage Jessica was dumbstruck by the little puzzle in the last three lines of the poem. [2]  To this day, I am in awe of the double meaning of this scene — which takes place on America's 200th birthday: It's not just tennis courts that are for the rich, but judicial ones, too. Genius wordplay, imo.

It seems as though Americans may need a few new language lessons in 2025, and no, I'm not talking about "transitory." First up? Big Oil. To the untrained eye, Javier Blas says the words "crude," "petroleum" and "oil" are basically synonymous. "Ask any specialist, though, and they each have different meanings," he writes. Our vocabulary surrounding this topic is, what's the word, crude.

"The most common error is to focus solely on crude, called 'black oil' by some, and ignore the rest. I hear many bulls saying that other liquids aren't real oil. That's nonsense; they're part of the larger petroleum pool," he writes. Here's a quick-and-dirty primer:

Crude is the stuff that comes out of the ground before it's refined. Condensates and NGLs are byproducts of natural gas extraction but ultimately flow into the pool of oil liquids. The main difference between condensates and NGLs is where they get separated from the gas: at wellheads for condensates, and at gas processing plants for NGLs. Both are a mix of similar hydrocarbons: ethane, propane, butane, isobutane, pentane and pentane plus.

That's a lot of terminology! But there's a reason why we must distinguish it all: "Back in the late 1990s, crude accounted for almost 90% of the petroleum market, so it was a good proxy for overall supply and demand," he explains. But this is no longer your mother's oil market: The share of crude has dropped to 74%. "In trying to gauge oil prices, it helps to count the barrels — all of them," Javier concludes.

Elsewhere in linguistic lessons essential to Americans is the word "migrant," which people use interchangeably with the word "immigrant," which Frank Barry argues is "contributing to the nation's toxic political discourse." Ahem. Your humble newsletter writer is ashamed to admit that I have occasionally used this term. And I'm not alone: "The term is used not only by conservative commentators, but also in the pages of the New York Times and most other media outlets, including Bloomberg," Frank writes.

But the two words carry very different meanings. To Frank, "immigrant" has a certain nobility: "It conjures images of the Statue of Liberty, of dreamers and strivers who arrive with nothing but courage and ambition." "Migrant," in contrast, is evocative of "roaming bands of people, who, like the Roma in Europe and the Travellers in Ireland, have historically faced discrimination and prejudice as a separate and lesser class." Conflating the two at a time when Patricia Lopez says the US Border Patrol is hellbent on ejecting as many immigrants as possible is more than reckless — it's dangerous.

Knowing How to Play the Game

It sounds unobjectionable, maybe even bland, as a piece of business advice: Focus on making great products instead of trying to get rich quick, and your company will thrive in the long run. But the genius of Gautam Mukunda is that he explains it through the lens of video games. Specifically, Baldur's Gate 3.

"You can change the industry, but the story remains the same," he writes. "Boeing's downfall began when its engineering-centric culture was replaced by a financial one. GE's when Jack Welch replaced operational excellence with financial engineering. Intel when its first non-engineer CEO turned down the chance to make chips for the iPhone. Nike's when it appointed a CEO who had so little interest in sneakers that he mispronounced the name of a key proprietary material Nike uses in their manufacture."

Speaking of CEOs: Did you hear about the guy who runs an enterprise software business and is having an existential crisis on LinkedIn? I'm referring, of course, to Atlassian CEO Mike Cannon-Brookes, who poured his heart out last week about his purchase of a private jet, among other not-so-environmentally-friendly things: "There's a couple of reasons I've purchased a plane. Personal security is the primary reason (an unfortunate reality of my world), but also so I can run a global business from Australia, and still be a constantly present dad," he wrote.

David Fickling — who is also a fortysomething Australian dad — can sorta sympathize: "I'd like to reduce my carbon footprint by getting my own electric car, instead of the battered 2008 Toyota Prius I share with my ex-wife. But money doesn't grow on trees, and we all have to make climate compromises somewhere." But the contrails of Cannon-Brookes' PJ isn't the issue, David says. His AI-dependent business is: 

"Atlassian is trying to persuade customers that its own cloud-based technologies and AI can make it more useful to them than ever," he writes. "The carbon cost of this is significant. Data center emissions in the US already rival those of the domestic airline industry, and are growing far quicker. Atlassian's pollution from 'purchased goods and services' — mostly data centers — has increased 77% in the past two fiscal years." If there was a price on all that carbon, David says his profits would disappear. How's that for getting rich quick?

This is only a slice of our opinion coverage. To unlock every story and get full access to all our columnists, become a Bloomberg.com subscriber.

Jellybean Markets

For the past week or so, Bloomberg Opinion's New York bureau has been TAUNTED by the presence of a massive jar of jellybeans, which was preparing for its co-starring role with Nir Kaissar in this video about the stock market. When you yourself guess the number of jellybeans, Nir says, you're likely to be off by 50% on average. But if you compile all the guesses, the average will be within 0.1% of the number of jellybeans in the jar. It's based on an experiment that a Columbia Business School professor conducts each year.

Aaaand how does this relate to the market? "You can think about markets as a bespectacled business professor aggregating guesses about asset prices rather than jellybeans — except there is vastly more information in stock and bond prices," Nir writes. "Each price is a window into a specific investment, but read together, asset prices tell a broader story about the direction of the economy."

The whole thing led our video editor Ale Lampietti to start a friendly office contest. Whoever was the closet to guess the correct number won all the candy. (Spoiler alert: I lost. But the winner, editor Candice Zachariahs, was generous enough to share the spoils with everyone!) 

The experience inspired me to hold the very first — and likely last! — Bloomberg Opinion Virtual Jellybean Contest. The container is 8 inches tall and 4 inches in diameter, details my editor says are important to include. Send your best guess to me at jkarl9@bloomberg.net with the subject "Jellybean." The prize is a personalized poem written by yours truly that may or may not be featured in next week's newsletter. It can be about any topic of your choice — your favorite Bloomberg Terminal function, the Boston Celtics, Blake Shelton's cheese dip — so long as it's appropriate! Happy guessing.

Two angles, for maximum strategy. Photos: Jessica Karl

Telltale Chart

The sneaker wars are alive and well. According to Andrea Felsted, Nike's Killshot has sprinted ahead of Adidas' Samba, thanks in part to Josh O'Connor's calves. "Searches for the Killshot have continued to move upwards, perhaps aided by being featured in Challengers, the tennis movie starring Zendaya. The style is also gaining traction on TikTok. Weekly posts featuring the model have increased by 475% from a year ago, with views up almost 2000%," she writes.

Telltale Photo

You'd think Disney's Snow White would be a safe and wholesome film for Hollywood to remake (just look at the cute rabbit on the red carpet!). But no: As Jason Bailey writes, the live-action film is mired in controversy. For one, a bunch of toxic trolls think Rachel Zegler, the Latina actress playing the namesake character, is not White enough to play Snow White. Then there's the political clash between Zegler and her co-star Gal Gadot. And media were not invited to cover the premiere on March 15, hence the lack of quotes from Mr. Forest Rabbit. It's a sad state of affairs, but it's not going to change anytime soon. "Filmmakers, executives and celebrities alike must learn how to stand their creative ground when culture wars bubble up," Jason writes. "Companies that create mass, mainstream entertainment are going to run the risk of alienating a portion of their audience, no matter where they land on political issues."

Further Reading

America's $1.64 trillion student loan program is in critical condition. — Bloomberg editorial board

Indonesia's self-inflicted economic wounds keep on multiplying. — Daniel Moss

Want to end the war in Ukraine? Look at Finland's "Winter War." — James Stavridis

Jamie Dimon's "America alone" is a chance for Europe's banks. — Marc Rubenstein

Germany's defense pivot needs more than just money. — Katja Hoyer

The USAID ruling may be the beginning of the end for Elon Musk. — Noah Feldman

North Carolina's ongoing election dispute is dangerous. — Mary Ellen Klas

ICYMI

Florida might ditch property taxes?

Tesla recalls most Cybertrucks.

Ah yes, just what DoorDash needs: Klarna.

Kickers

Who needs intimacy coordinators?

Scientists are building a cat database.

You can Caesar anything if you try hard enough.

Maybe abundance was just the friends we made along the way.

Notes: Please send Caesar-flavored jellybeans and feedback to Jessica Karl at jkarl9@bloomberg.net.

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[1] Apparently you can buy an autographed photo of my English teacher on Ebay for $69.69?? A steal, really.

[2] Hint: You need to replace the words in bold with other words from the poem: Make nothing without words, and let me be the one you never hold.

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