| This is Bloomberg Opinion Today, a manufactured feeling of Bloomberg Opinion's opinions. Sign up here. If Shakespeare Worked at Starbucks | If you've gotten Starbucks in the past few weeks, perhaps you've noticed that your drink now comes with a hand-written note. Last month, CEO Brian Niccol essentially told baristas they need to write nice little messages on every customer's cup or else. But the mandated engagement, which he claimed would help foster "moments of connection," isn't going according to plan. Instead of the words of affirmation Niccol was envisioning — "you're amazing!" and "seize the day!" — baristas have taken to writing entire novels on customers' cups:  Source: TikTok I love that all the baristas were like, you want me to write on the cup? Oh, I'll WRITE. There's a 25-minute waiting line out the door? Sorry, I take my job SERIOUSLY. I need to squeeze the FitnessGram Pacer Test on your Frappuccino. I need to get Gabby Windey's monolouge on this macchiato. I need to scribble down the shrimp's sob story from Shark Tale. I need to ensure that Andrew Garfield's speech in the Social Network is meticulously written on your iced latte. I need to write MUSTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA on your strawberry açaí refresher like Kendrick Lamar intended. It's an amazing show of protest! But it still doesn't fix the issue: Starbucks is forcing baristas — whose job is to make coffee — to be happy and engaged. "The underlying message to employees is this," writes Beth Kowitt: "It's not enough to manufacture a product for customers; they must also manufacture a feeling. And if Niccol can't motivate workers to do so organically, he'll decree it by edict." And it's not just Starbucks: "Those ending their remote work policies want butts back in seats — and they want employees to be happy about it," Beth writes. At Google, employees must make sure their work is "not only productive but also fun." At Tiffany & Co., staffers must engage with the jeweler's internal app, "Tiffany Joy," to boost morale. (Naturally, Beth says employees have nicknamed the app "Forced Joy.") There's even a Japanese supermarket chain using AI to standardize its employees' smiles. Beyond creepy! All this forced fun contrasts with the morale on the ground. "A recent Gallup poll found that employee engagement is at a 10-year low; only 39% of workers feel that someone cares about them as a person at their company, down from 47% in 2020. The 'Great Detachment,' as Gallup calls it, has left the rank and file looking for new jobs at the highest rate since 2015 — jobs they can't get because of a stalled labor market," Beth notes. "With power now back in the hands of employers, bosses are doing less cajoling, convincing and negotiating and more demanding." But forcing your workers to write "carpe diem" on a paper cup might have adverse consequences: "Having customers WATCH us be extremely backed up and still having to write something on a cup is so embarrassing," one Redditor complained. There's joy to be found in the workplace, but it cannot be finagled by upper management through icebreaker activities or internal apps. Read the whole thing for free. You know what American employees actually want? MORE VACATION DAYS!!! And you know where they want to go on vacation? EUROPE! It's really not that difficult, people:  Credit: HBO, White Lotus But renting a pied-à-terre in the South of France right now might prove to be liiiittle awkward for Americans, considering Trump has essentially told all of Europe, "you're on your own, kid." Just today, Irish Prime Minister Micheál Martin visited the White House (as is tradition around St. Patrick's Day) and Rosa Prince says he was "armed with little more than the customary gift of a Waterford Crystal bowl of shamrock." In true millennial form, JD Vance sported shamrock socks for the occasion, but the holiday cheer didn't last long: Trump railed out Ireland's prime minister over "massive" trade imbalances and said the US "shouldn't have let that happen." Still, it's not as if Americans are going to cancel their trip to the cliffs of Moher over Trump's foreign policy dumpster fire. As Chris Bryant says, "Americans have remained loyal travelers and airlines are hopeful for another good summer." If there's a downturn, though, that hope may be short-lived: "A US recession or prolonged stock market slump would surely make some passengers think twice about splashing out on Greece or Portugal vacations," he writes. "Europeans priced out of their favorite hotel and fed up with over-tourism might instinctively welcome US tourists staying home," he notes. But Europe needs to stay booked and busy to get the money it needs to defend itself. Americans spend an obscene amount on leisure pursuits, and who can blame them? They need the papal socks! The fancy pajamas! The French butter! Truth is, the real-life version of Emily in Paris is a multibillion-dollar business: "While Atlanticists may be a dying breed in politics, for now American visitors seem to love the old continent more than their president does," Chris concludes. Read the whole thing. And book me a one-way flight to Dublin, will you? | 
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